One morning during lecture phase back in Perth, I was reading Psalm 104 in quiet time. God highlighted v. 30-31 in a special way,
“When You send forth Your Spirit, they are created,
and You renew the face of the ground.
May the glory of the LORD endure forever;
may the LORD rejoice in His works.”
He spoke to me of His distinct intentionality in every new creation, the renewal and refreshing purpose He has when He breathes a new life into being. How this fresh life is always a reflection of His glory that will continue its expression on earth… And that He should be able to rejoice in His works. We can join Him in rejoicing in each of these works.
I knew this was to be a key verse, and an anchor verse for me to maintain strict alignment with. Sometimes, in the face of witnessing great injustice and suffering in the lives of infants and children, I’ve been subtly but shamefully deceived into wondering if it was “worth it”. It certainly challenges our perceptions and belief system to reconcile the kindness and goodness and sovereignty and righteousness of God with such earthly pain. But I believe we generally have big missing pieces in our near-sightedness. Life is always opportunity for hope and for purpose, always a gift of renewal.
This principle most certainly applies in the tragedies in the labour room, in the losses and the complications and the defects and the unexpected. It applies to the young mothers, child brides, with too-small pelvises and obstructed labours. It applies to the anencephalic little angel our team was able to observe and love and pray over during his miraculous three days of life outside the womb. There is always more hope than we see, always more purpose than we can conceive, always more promise than we could imagine. Let the glory of the LORD endure forever.
And then, in India, God re-gifted this verse to me in another very unexpected way.
I’m pregnant.
I’d been feeling poorly, but attributed it mostly to the setting and the change in food. I loved being in the hospital and the labour room, but was struggling to get through the shifts that were far shorter than I’m accustomed to. As symptoms progressed and I started to honestly ask God about it…. I knew. The next day two pregnancy tests lit right up, and we were blind-sided by life. (We thought we were already living the impossible and upside down by God’s gift of the crazy-hard-miraculous-good.) While the news shocked us and feels a bit ludicrous for our current setting, it is just a surprise gift planned in advance by God, His glorious offer to renew the face of the Fichtinger family.
I’ve always been a pretty sick pregnant woman (and this time around, remarkably emotionally affected). Just receiving the news and increasing in all the first-trimester experiences was a bit like being struck by a massive wave: a wave of the generosity of God, but in such an overwhelming way it’s taken a couple of weeks to find my bearings and try to re-adjust to the new-again normal. I’ve spent the last three weeks pretty much exclusively at home (smells, mobility, heat, dehydration, and emotional stress are a bit incapacitating right now, and the last thing the Labour Room needs is the midwife vomiting or passing out during a delivery). I’m resting as much as I can (between homeschool, housework, and our ongoing academic requirements), and Bob and the BAS girls hunt down the blandest food and coldest sodas they can find for me. (Besides being on outreach, what better setting than to be surrounded by sweet midwives who love me?)
This has given Bob and the kids (in turn) much more opportunity to get out and engage, which has been very consistent with God’s directing for our whole family to be here together, to be experiencing India and ministering in various capacities. I love the hospital and love the labour ward, so it’s been a challenging reassignment for me, but I’m at rest with this place.
(God’s extravagant gift to Fetya, who’s been asking for a baby sibling on every wish list for at least two years… We found out the day before her birthday, and so announced it in her little card.)
(God’s extravagant gift to me: a nausea-free day to go out with the family/group to the Hard Rock Cafe, and the capacity to eat -some- BEEF BURGER and ONION RINGS. I didn’t dream about food for days after that!)
Our littlest one is only 10 weeks gestation now: the size of a grape, with miniature organs all at work, eyes and ears, and a lot of growing yet to do. My due date is 11 June, 2017. We are still waiting for God to give us more specific direction in all our continuing plans. We are scheduled to return to Perth on 12 November, and leave 2 days later on a 3-day road trip to north Western Australia, to the Kimberley region. After 5 weeks we return to Perth for Christmas. BAS then heads out to Zambia and Malawi for 5 months (traveling back to Perth right at full-term for me)
We are okay with not knowing today what the plan for us is next year. We know God is working in and through our family, and that He is (again) not at all surprised by what surprises us. We want the fullness of His plan, so we are happy to wait on Him in this situation as well. We’ll keep you all posted for sure!
PRAISE GOD WITH US….
-that the God of LIFE is unhindered, and is always bringing hope and renewal.
-that except for minor illnesses we’ve all been so healthy
-for nearly 100 healthy deliveries, a dozen or more infant resuscitations, many interventions, healings, salvations, education, encouragement, sharing the Gospel, etc. Women are so open to hearing about a God who sees and loves them, and is able to hear and respond to their needs. At least 9 Muslim or Hindu women have put their trust in Jesus alone just this week!
-for peace that passes understanding, for grace to help us in our time of need, for wisdom when we ask.
-for the faithfulness of God, and that who He is doesn’t change. He’s our Rock.
-for God’s work in our family. He’s given specific things for us to pray for over each of our kids for this outreach time, and we are seeing Him work.
PRAY WITH US….
-for ongoing blessing over BAS and the work we’re doing here
-for specific opportunities for Bob and the kids, to really make the most of their time here
-for the salvation of more Muslim women (specifically on my heart)
-for clarity and direction for our family’s plans in the upcoming year.
-for ever deepening relationship with Jesus for each of our children (and ourselves, of course). He meets us in all our places.