March, 2019
I’m listening to a recording of the first song our oldest daughter and I worshiped to at Passion 2019 in early January. Scraggly-haired, toboggan-topped Sean Curran lead 10,000 18-25 year olds to “Step Into the Light” as we entered three days set aside to pursue Jesus above everything else. This trip was the (extravagant, for us) Christmas gift God had led to give her. Life has walked us through the most some of earth’s most hellish places, and we’ve been rescued and redeemed in a way that we’re just beginning to see the glory of. (All of us who live by the life of Jesus have this story with incredibly unique details, but just as glorious redemption.)
Jesus is with us. There is no greater reality in existence.
This changes everything, meeting with Jesus.
Really giving Him ourselves. Our time, first. Our attention, our minds, our hearts and emotions. Risking the vulnerability that He really is with us to save us, and be okay with Him saving us from ourselves. He is so good, kind, patient, and full of joy to make us free with the freedom of Heaven. Free from darkness, fear, confusion, futility.
A core theme of walking with God is in 1 John: walk in the Light. This is where we have our created-for fellowship with God and with one another. But… there the terrifying thing is: the risk of exposure. We have these deep but hushed fears that if we step into the Light He/we/others may see that really we’re not that strong. Really, we’re not that good. Really, we’re not that loving, wise, capable. Definitely not as lovable as He/we/they thought. Really, we’re not sure that HE is as strong, good, wise, kind, right as He says He is. That Jesus’ track record of mind-blowing love and humility might stop with us, and He might not really be able and willing save us in all the ways we need saved. So we hide out close to the Light, but in a responsible degree of shadow. Where we can feel the glow but not risk being consumed by a burning fire.
For the conservatively-discipled subgroup, it usually it takes a crisis of some sort (praise God for difficulties), or a grace-filled burst of reckless, bold faith to step out in full-fledged exposure before Yahweh. Not that He didn’t already have perfect discernment of every dark corner of our hearts. And we learn, again and again, that staying in the light is the only place to be. Darkness can’t hide so long. Sin can’t strangle us for so long. Deception loses its roots when we stay in the light. When we let Light overcome the darkness, as it always will. When we live like repentance and rest is our salvation (Isaiah 30:15) rather than our crushing efforts to improve and overcome, we find ourselves… delivered.
He doesn’t weary of saving us. His work is finished, and His love is diligent and steadfast in a way we can’t fathom.
Maybe it’s true for you, too, eh? Maybe it’s time to set aside a weekend. Take a vacation day. Make the intentional decision to turn your eyes toward the King of Heaven and give Him what life demands most of you. Sometimes we stop at giving Him our money, our Sunday mornings, all our best intentions and efforts. Go through the labor of stepping into the Light and going back again and again and again, every day. Look at Yahweh in His Word, in worship, in His Spirit. See what He’s said and agree with Him. About Him, about you, about this whole world and life in it and beyond it. True worshipers come in Spirit and in Truth, and the Holy One makes a way, takes us in, and makes us complete, abundant, victorious, perfected, cherished, sufficient, wise, courageous, significant, secure, forever… because He is. Come a little closer into the Light. Risk true worship today, tomorrow. If there were one thing I could give you (and myself), it would be a greater taste of the Presence of God.
Let it be, GOD! We hunger for You. We need You more than breath. We want you more than anything this world has to offer. There is nothing that compares to You. Nothing like You. Jesus, You are high and lifted up and we need more than anything to see You and understand who You are. Give us a greater hunger for Your presence, Your word, Your truth. Help us turn our attention to You more. Fill us with faith and hope and an unstoppable drive to stop at nothing short of touching You. Capture our attention, and give us grace to position ourselves to see You. In Jesus’ Name.